*To those of you who came here from my Facebook*: If you happened to hear the huge buffing I gave the post I’d been working on that was coming up, this is not that post, and is not even close to what my most recent post is about. Don’t start reading this thinking it’s going to be the post I was so proud to write that i said was going to be eye-opening. I’m still working on that one. This one is just to get out some feelings.
Hey there friends.
Do you happen to be one of those unlucky men stuck in the
Well, I’ve got some insight on better understanding the situation you’re in.
When you’re attracted to a girl, and then she tells you you’re her best friend, that actually does not automatically put you in the friend zone! Relief, huh? In fact, that just means that you’re a good person. That is, until, you feel angry at her or depressed because of it, due to her not telling you that she wants to date you.
Then, that makes what you’ve done a bad and selfish thing to do.
You see, what you are essentially saying is that your entire relationship with this person is based on the fact that you’re attracted to them. You want nothing more than to be with them, because if you wanted to be their friend, you would probably be very happy and feel touched, assuming you’re not desensitized to the sentiments of other people due to egoism.
This is, in fact, just the same as only caring about someone for their looks, as many of the people in this asinine termed coining egotistical loners without confidence as victims would like to think that they don’t. In fact, many people who claim they’re in the “Friend Zone” are precisely the issue they would complain against.
The not-shallow thing to do here would be to be happy that she is your friend, because that would make her happy. Not being your girlfriend. That would make her less happy.
“Hey, don’t look at me, I’m not complaining that girls are shallow for not liking me, I’m just sad that she doesn’t like me back, okay? Hop off.”
Have you…asked her?
Did you give yourself the label of “Friend-zoned” because she told you she only likes you as a friend, or did she just say you’re a good friend or maybe not even mention anything about friends but just told you you were nice, and you decided that means she’s not attracted to you?
Because if the it’s the latter, you have done one of the most common faux pas that a man can do: the failure to act confident. You see, those guys that are ‘so shallow‘ get those girls not because those girls are blinded by tricks or ignorant, but in fact because girls are genuinely more attracted to men that exert pride in themselves and, y’know, ARE HAPPY, than men who complain and whine and ostracize themselves, because anyone would rather spend their time around happy people than sad people, because that shows security, as well.
So honestly, that puts you even lower on the market. Not only are you not proud of yourself, you’re also not mentally attractive, because you make unfair judgments about other people to make yourself feel better, which is a signature move of stupid teenagers in high school.
“Well actually, smart-ass, I told her I liked her, and she said she only likes me as a friend, and hey, look at that: it was painful to hear that someone I liked doesn’t like me. Gee, what a surprise!”
Oh, absolutely. I’m really sorry, dude. I didn’t mean to-y’know, I’m just really sorry. Sometimes I get too emotional and judgmental about people. I’m a hypocrite. You’re completely in the right for being told by someone with their own individual opinions and complex lives that they’re not interested in taking you as an experiment in figuring out who she wants to spend and sacrifice the rest of their life with, but is still absolutely okay with hanging out with you every once in a while and thinks you’re cool.
It’s completely rational to disrespect not only a compliment, but someone’s willingness to want to be around you, by being angry or sad that they don’t want to spend every waking second of their life around you and soak in all of the you that you love so much and think is so good for people.
You have absolutely no ego in doing that.
Except maybe, perhaps, the part where instead of keeping your personal feelings and relations with another person to yourself, you actively started spouting off at people about how someone that you like and that enjoys your company has inconvenienced you and therefore made your life harder.
That may have been a bit out of line, but not too harsh. I can see how someone might call that “Emotionally spontaneous” or “Selfish” or “Childish”.
“Oh, so we’re going to play that game, huh? I wasn’t complaining about anything. I don’t think she’s inconvenienced me whatsoever, I’m just saying that I’ve been told she didn’t want to be with me, and that made me sad, okay?”
Then either tell HER that, or keep it to yourself. For what other reason than attention or selfish desire would you, in the first place, tell everyone except those you have close relations with about how people are hurting your personal life? If it’s about making you feel better, why would you go aroudn telling people you don’t know instead of friends that you do know? Either you really had to get it out, or you don’t value your friends above random people. And secondly, why would you use the term “Friend Zone” if you didn’t want to seem like you were victimized? When someone is hurt by feelings, they’re victimized by themselves, not by others. Sadness may not always be your choice, but it’s not like your brain can be controlled by anyone else but yourself? So how about instead of spreading around negative crap about your feelings you can’t control, why don’t you try spreading positive and uplifting things about what you like about life? Must have a crappy life that you need to sort out before you start making friends who are vulnerable to being controlled by others.
Y’know why she SHOULDN’T be attracted to you? Because you still need other people to satisfy your emotions. You don’t know how to enjoy your life by yourself without being sad that you’re alone and/or by not being able to control yourself from using attention-seeking terms to make yourself look like a victim of other people instead of loneliness.
Here’s a tip: Everyone gets lonely.
Here’s another tip: No one likes it.
P.S: Not everyone wants to talk about it.
Conclusion Statement: Especially people you’re attracted to.
*Footnote: Your friends might if they thought it helped, but you obviously don’t give a shit about that/them.
Oh yeah, remember how she told you she’d still like to be friends, and even though she knew you liked her and would need time to get over your feelings for her and it would be hard for the two of you to be around each other, she’d still like to have you around?
That was really nice of her, huh?
Executive Editor’s Notes: Character doesn’t appeal to mature demographic. Could grow up more?